Holdings hands within a wide circle of 40 strangers, I am uncertain of what is about to happen. Our ‘Intuitive Guide’, Isik, encourages us to introduce ourselves and state what we are here to let go of. People answer one-by-one with ease as my blank mind starts to wonder what I am going to say when it’s my turn. I didn’t come to let go of anything? A young man in a tracksuit shyly proclaims that he would like to let go of thoughts that no longer serve him. A mature, grey dreadlocked woman tells us her guides brought her here. A woman with hindu gods tattooed on her arms explains that she would like to be able to simply get out of her own way. The reasons come thick and fast, but my mind is still blank. I would like to be able to speak to a large group of people without turning bright red. I breathe slowly and do my best to just stay calm. I briefly flash my eyes across the crowd, before admitting to nobody in particular that I am here to enjoy myself and be open to new experiences…. There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?
The doors are locked so there will be no interruptions. Isik explains that we will lie down and breathe deeply through our mouths only. She reassures us that this is a safe place to release anger, then demonstrates how we might choose to release it. Her pretty face contorts into a piercing scream and my eyebrows raise further as her hands pound the floor fiercely. I cant imagine doing either of those things, but then I have been conditioned never to express anger and was berated as a child for doing so. The lights dim, and the loud, pumping music begins. The music has a deep energy which is instantly felt within the body. Next to me, bodies breathe deep and fast. I struggle to keep up. From across the room I hear a deep, painful, masculine roar. I’m intrigued and wonder if I might have this rage hidden within me somewhere? I feel a gentle surge of energy rising inside me and my body moves from side to side. A cough forces its way out of my chest and then more coughs. My throat opens up and a long wail comes out; the sound of being on a scary fairground ride, or perhaps Alice falling down the rabbit hole.
The next 30 minutes is filled with mysterious human noises, whooshing sounds and delicate, quick footsteps as Isik and her team clear the energies from the room. I place my hands on my chest and feel a feather light touch on my shoulders, offering support. A tear rolls down the side of my face as the music begins to slow. One by one, we sit up. One man stands up, unable to sit, explaining that he has left the person he was back down on the floor. I feel a sense of light, uplifting energy, like walking on a cloud, accompanied by a complete lack of hunger, which lasts me for the rest of the day.
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