You know the old sayings ‘a leopard never changes its spots’ and ‘old habits die hard’ when referring to a person never being able to change? Well scrap that because PEOPLE CHANGE ALL THE TIME… I have changed so many times I have lost count, even over the past year, I carry on changing my mind about stuff, learning and growing in small but significant ways. Even stuff I wrote last year on this blog, I cringe at parts because I have already changed since writing it.
“A thug changes, and love changes, and best friends become strangers” NAS
The biggest change I ever experienced came about when I went travelling for a year. I went alone. I left everything behind me, my job, my friends, my family, my ex, my flat, my phone, my ipod – even my identity and old behaviours. I was free to experiment with a NEW ME. I changed the scenery, the environment, the people I was hanging out with, the music I was listening to, the food I was eating. I changed EVERYTHING. The main reason I was able to change was because these new people had no expectations of me to be the OLD ME.
The problem sometimes is that we don’t allow ourselves and others the SPACE TO CHANGE. We have expectations of our friends and when our friends don’t act as we expect, it can really throw us off and make us feel uncomfortable. How many times have we said one of the below phrases to a friend:
“but that’s not like you…”
“you would never do that”
“since when do you [insert new behaviour]”
When we say stuff like this, we reinforce an idea of that person not being able to change, and one of the most important things in life which has enabled us to adapt and survive, is that we are able to change. Being able to change our minds on an issue for instance. Check out this video of a reformed racist. That’s a massive change of heart he had!!
Having a ‘big, soft, open mind‘ allows us to be flexible and adaptable to change our thoughts and ideas about ourselves, and gives us space to discover new aspects of ourselves, and the world around us.
I would invite you today to notice change in yourself and others, and when you see it, perhaps try and welcome it with a friendly curiosity. Is there anything you would like to change about yourself? If so, how might you go about changing it?